Care
Benny Birk Mortensen, priest
The priest will not give you solutions - but care. You need support and help while you are ill. Not a jack of all trades who thinks he knows the answers to everything. But someone who
- takes the time
- wants to walk with you, even when there isn't anything else that can be done
- wants to learn about your pain
It helps to know that there is someone who is standing by your side. Even if you are afraid of being rejected, you can have a calm, objective discussion with a priest. You will meet someone with a good understanding of your situation.
God is near
Even if you doubt whether you are good enough, it will not change God's view of you. Jesus showed us that God does not look at us with strict eyes but envelops us with merciful and gentle eyes. And we must know that we are loved and wanted by God.
God is also there when it is dark. The priest will help you to realise that God is with you and is near, even when you do not feel that he is. And that it is not God who is different when you are ill, but you who are perceiving him differently.
Our emotional life has a strong effect on our relationship with God. Even if there is a link, it is important to be able to distinguish between the two. And we will often get help to do that from someone else.
"What have I done?"
When you are depressed, you may ask yourself questions such as:
- What have I done?
- Is there a punishment?
- Does God want me to be depressed?
- If not, why doesn't God make me healthy again?
The former Bishop of Viborg, George S. Geil, talks about this:
"Evil never comes from God's hand. But when it affects you, there is room in God's hand - for you and for everything that became yours. If you should fall into the deepest ocean, even the ocean is just a drop of water in your Holy Father's hand."
Central pillars of Christianity are that:
- It does NOT talk about a God who prevents that which hurts
- It talks about a God who never leaves us alone
- It does NOT talk about a God who carries us through this or that
- It talks about a God who helps us through no matter what
Guilt feelings
Feelings of guilt can be overwhelming and can be the result of complex feelings. You can easily get stuck in something you just cannot get away from. A priest can help you to distinguish between what is the result of an oversensitive mind and what you must have forgiveness for.
Tiredness and hope
Tiredness also affects Christian life. I don't mean everyday tiredness but the tiredness which can make you completely disinterested in what is happening around you. You don't have the strength to hold onto your thoughts. You cannot express them at all. Praying to God becomes meaningless.
Emptiness and feelings of loneliness become overwhelming.
You may need someone to be there for you who can act as a sort of substitute, someone who steps in with a prayer and a few uplifting words, perhaps from the Bible. A sort of "substitute for hope" who holds onto hope when you yourself are unable to.
You have value
God loves you, no matter how you are feeling, and you are no less useful because you are depressed. God does not demand that you stop being depressed because he can only use you when you are healthy. He surrounds you, even if you don't believe that he does.
And remember that your value as a person is intact, even when you are depressed.